I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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