he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
