Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
