the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
