The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
