Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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