If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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