I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
