I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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