Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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