Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
