Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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