Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
