She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
