2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
