Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
