Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
As shirtless as possible
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
