____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
