I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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