Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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