Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
