She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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