Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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