Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize