Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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