i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize