If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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