We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
