but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
