No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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