Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
