erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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