dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
