There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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