you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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