with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
we're so committed to being not committed
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
