You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
