there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
