my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize