My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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