So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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