It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
