You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
