Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
