so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
