i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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