if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
