she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
