I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
