Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
