Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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