haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
