Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So vagazzling was a success
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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