Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Enjoy the penises
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
