I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
