i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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