my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Randomize