doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
