apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
