I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
