We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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