My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize