He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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